21 August 2010
Psalm 137, 144; Job 3:1-26; Acts 9:10-19a; John 6:41-51

It is easy to see why Job would pray in this way, that he had never been born. In this prayer, however, we see that Satan’s accusation against Job, that he loved God because God had prospered him, perhaps, has some validity. What Job experienced in the loss of everything and everyone that was important to him is truly unimaginable and to add the physical suffering on top of that would bring any man to this prayer, but I John 4 tells the truth about us, we love God because He first loved us. Job’s cry here comes after seven days of sitting silently among his friends and this is the cry of anguish, a cry birthed in his heart and now, finally, expressed on the lips. It is the cry of George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life, I wish my life had never been if it is nothing more than pain to me and all those around me. We need to believe our lives have a positive momentum and purpose to them in order to have hope and to see a reason to exist, and Job has lost everything that had given his life that purpose and meaning so why continue?

They cannot believe Jesus or accept his offer because they believe they know his mother and father. Their logical inference is that since they know his origins he cannot be who He claims to be. They have seen remarkable things, just offered Him a chance to prove Himself by providing more food as He had done the day before, but now that He won’t do their bidding they have second thoughts about Him. There is no new evidence for them to make this judgment, simply His failure to do what they asked and His new claim to be the bread of life. Jesus could easily have provided more food in order to win them back but he won’t do it. They have come to the point of decision and they must make that decision based on the available evidence if they are to move forward with Him. It always comes down to faith in this life and it always has. Do we believe God in the moment? If we believe and move on in faith, more will be revealed to us. Our faith must be tested if we are to receive more of Him.

Ananais has to take a step of faith, moving forward with God based on the Lord’s word to him. Like the Jews in the Gospel lesson, Ananais knows something and that “knowledge” causes him to doubt God. Unlike those others, Ananais is willing to believe God over and against what he knows and to go where God has sent him even though it may mean persecution and death if it is wrong. His first word to Saul is amazing, “brother.” What balm those few words he spoke before he laid hands on him must have been to Saul’s heart and soul, forgiveness and restoration. He had lost everything of his past, he could not go back to his old life, and therefore he accepted baptism for forgiveness of sins and the beginning of a new life. As he will say on numerous occasions, all that came before, from birth to circumcision to his training to his work, no longer mattered, it seemed like filthy rags, he had a new purpose and meaning to his life.

Bless the Lord, O my soul.
O Lord my God, you are very great.
You are clothed with honour and majesty,
I will sing to the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have being.
May my meditation be pleasing to him,
for I rejoice in the Lord.