Angry with God

I know what Lieutenant Dan felt like in Forrest Gump, clinging to the mast of the boat in the midst of a ferocious storm, shaking his fist at God, shouting "Come get me." It is the same thing Cain was dealing with when God asked why Cain was angry? He knew the answer to that question, Cain was disappointed with God. Life wasn't going the way it was supposed to. He offered sacrifice and yet God blessed his brother's sacrifice and the whole business seemed to be Cain's idea and he was, after all, the first born.

I spent much of my twenties running from the Lord and at 32 had an experience that led me back to Him. I was successful in my business life and offered Him all I had, but it seems He had no regard for my offering. In fact, He refused to bless it at all, because of the dishonesty of my business partner, the whole thing cratered in just a couple of months after I offered it to the Lord. I was left with nothing at all. I spent three years alternating between loving God and being angry with Him.

I thought my offering was pretty good, a successful business. It was all I could see that I had to offer. I offered it, though, with the idea that He would bless it so that I could give more money for the Kingdom and along the way I could live as a Christian in a thoroughly un-Christian environment. As our president would say, I, like Cain, misunderestimated God. He only wanted the best I had to offer, my life, not my success.