Why is it I am never satisfied? If I lived in a vacuum apart from other people and things maybe I could pull off satisfaction, but as it is, I see other people who have something I want or something I think I lack, and envy creeps into my life and re-orients it entirely. The new orientation of my thoughts is to get whatever that thing is, however I can get it. It orients both my actions and my prayers towards that aim. If I were honest with you, I could probably name a dozen things I would like to have right now, I could make a wish list like a kid at Christmas and make the case why all of them were important to my ministry.
Augustine said centuries ago, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in you." Has anything changed about human nature since he said that? My heart longs for rest, but not as much as it longs for stuff most of the time. It doesn't have to be material stuff either, it can even be spiritual or psychological stuff, it can even be stuff for my kids like success in what they are doing, solid friends, trust from others... Rest is hard to come by because of my restless heart.
I don't generally begrudge others having the things I want, at least not at the level Cain did. I don't have a problem with them having it, I just want it too. Right now in my life I am more or less satisfied on my own behalf so I want for others. It bugs me that people who love God and desire to serve Him suffer financially and so my prayers are filled with requests on their behalf. Is there any hope of true rest in this world? From Genesis 3 on, we have been people who want that one other thing we think will satisfy us.
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